I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Randomize
