No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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