If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
