fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
