I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
