So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
