I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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