office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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