I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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