just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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