She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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