It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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