I hope mine doesn't look like that
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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