Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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