i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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