He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
