He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
