I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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