I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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