We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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