What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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