i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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