Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
