Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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