This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
