Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
