you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
