His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
