Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
