It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
