STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
