So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
