thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
