sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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