what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
