And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
