i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
