so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
