How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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