was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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