I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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