Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
