So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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