got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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