ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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