all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
