Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
