"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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