I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
