That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
