Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
