I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
COCAINE IS GR8
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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