I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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