Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
