god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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