I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
