He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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