Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
