the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize