no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
