dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
